“As I learned about other gender identities such as non-binary, I realized that I was attracted to people based on things besides gender, that gender didn’t hold much stock in the way I felt about people.”

This is how Midnight Byrnedavis, sociology major, recalls her experience as she became aware of her sexuality as pansexual. For Byrnedavis the journey to find a term that would adequately express her sexual orientation has been challenging. Looking back at her journey she believes that the lack of knowledge was prohibiting her from claiming her true self. Byrnedavis now identifies as pansexual.

“I believe that I have always been this way, but I always identified as bisexual before I became more educated and was able to find what my sexuality really is”

Byrnedavis recalls a time during her seventh grade when she encountered her first attraction to another female and how it was a difficult time because she didn’t know how to come-out to her best friend. She believed that her friend would have a negative reaction. However, when Byrnedavis declared herself bisexual, to her pleasant surprise, her friend didn’t seem to be affected by it. Her friend simply asked to whom she felt attracted to and moved on.

At the age of 17 Byrnedavis came-out to her parents and fortunately for her they weren’t bothered by it.

“I am very lucky to be surrounded by people who are accepting.”

Although, the people closest to Byrnedavis have been accepting, some others in her life haven’t been the same. In a previous relationship she was dating a male and when she told him that she was bisexual he immediately assumed that now he had to worry about keeping her away from both genders. When the parents of the aforementioned ex-boyfriend became aware of the situation they told him that she was ‘just going to cheat.’

“Being referred to as a cheater simply because I’m attracted to more than one gender is unfair.” Byrnedavis stated.

She has been fortunate to be surrounded by a supportive circle she expresses that most of the hurtful interactions have been with members of the cyberworld.

She describes that these interactions are often times not even in direct contact. “The negativity that I’ve experienced from things I’ve read on the internet, about bisexuals ‘not being able to make up their minds’ or ‘being greedy.’ For Byrnedavis and others these claims are hurtful and disrespectful because from her personal account they simply aren’t true.

She has found that these erroneous claims not only come from members outside of the LGBTQ+ community but also from within.

“Many people who identify as gay or lesbian strongly dislike bisexuals and pansexuals” she stated.

Through her dating experience she has noticed the difference in how people treat her simply because of how she identifies herself.

“Recently, it just kind of came to me that pansexual is what I am. Once I made that connection, I wasted no time in coming out again to my parents and to some of my friends.This is definitely who I am. I was very nervous about changing how I identified, worried that others would judge me or say that I couldn’t make up my mind.”

She was worried about the backlash that she would receive from identifying with a different orientation because it is very common for people to see them as undecided and greedy.

“It is in my experience that a lot of lesbian women do not want to date bisexual or pansexual women. On dating sites, I get very few replies or messages from women.”

According to healthresearchfunding.org “In a 2009 survey, bisexuals were tolerated only slightly more than intravenous drug users in a survey of self-identifying heterosexuals.”

This statistic demonstrates how much more there is to go in order to become more inclusive and the negativity that is expressed towards this particular community.

Byrnedavis like many others who are part of the LGBTQ+ community yearns for the day where we live in a more inclusive society.

“To people that have a hard time understanding the LGBT community, I just want to say, that this is how we are born. It’s not a choice to be gay, to be bisexual, to be transgender. It is just another way of being a human being. We’re all people, and deserve to be treated as such, not looked down upon or mistreated. As people we deserve all the rights and courtesies that straight and cisgender people have. If you truly don’t understand, let yourself be educated. There is always someone willing to explain things to you in a kind manner.” Byrnedavis concluded.