Therapist Dr. Johnson played by: Lily Marmolejo

Patient: Karen played by: Georgette Marmolejo

-MUSIC INTRO-

THERAPIST: Hello and welcome to tea time therapy. My name is Dr. Johnson, some of my patients refer to me as Dr. we’ve already been over this. I received my credentials from google and in today’s session I will be counseling a very troubled individual, an anti vaxxer.

-MUSIC OUTRO FADE OUT-

THERAPIST: So, how are we doing today Karen?

PATIENT: How much time do you have..

THERAPIST: Karen we’ve been over this already. Our sessions are the same as always, only 45 minutes. What would you like to start off today’s session with?

PATIENT: Well, my school is enforcing a vaccine mandate and I don’t want to get the vaccine. I feel like nobody understands me…

THERAPIST: Now, What do you mean by that?

PATIENT: (*irritated) I mean that nobody understands and nobody understands why I don’t want the vaccine.

THERAPIST: Erm, Why don’t you want the vaccine?

PATIENT: I don’t even know where to start.

THERAPIST: Preferably the beginning.

PATIENT: (*cautiously sigh) Well according to my mee maws’s facebook group… They put microchips in the vaccine so that the government can track you and make you magnetic.

THERAPIST: I see. Would you like to elaborate at all?

PATIENT: That’s what my mee maw is paying you for. You see, the government is trying to control us. They put stuff in there to make us go crazy. In a couple years doc your office is gonna be real busy.

THERAPIST: *chuckle* right

-DOCTOR CAN BE HEARD WRITING NOTES DOWN ON A NOTEBOOK-

PATIENT: (*panicked)What if it’s not the government trying to control us… What if the school is trying to control us and they are secretly part of the government…

-DOCTOR CAN BE HEARD WRITING NOTES DOWN ON A NOTEBOOK-

THERAPIST: *mumbled* okay so we’re definitely raising this one and 10 more milligrams of this.. (regular voice) Now I’m sure no one wants to control you.

PATIENT: How can you be sure? The FDA approved Pfizer for a reason. By the way you know I can hear you, right?

THERAPIST: Well the Pfizer vaccine was approved because it’s proved its successful in preventing individuals from suffering from extreme symptoms when contracting COVID-19. I can also assure you that your school is not trying to control you. It is not good to spread potentially harmful information or let yourself create a conspiracy theory that lacks foundation.

PATIENT: So you’re telling me I have to get a vaccine that is going to track me, make me magnetic and not prevent me from getting sick. IM NOT CREATING A CONSPIRACY

THERAPIST: No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. I think you’re missing my point here Karen, I hope you know FB is also not a reliable source. I think we should keep ourselves calm and collected during our sessions.

PATIENT: I am calm so stop bugging. Do you want to know what is a reliable source?

THERAPIST: Please do-n’t

PATIENT: *interrupts the word don’t* Fox News Entertainment

THERAPIST: *underbreath* ahh *normal voice* is there anything else you want to cover today regarding this topic

PATIENT: Yes, I’m glad you asked. As of October 1st students and employees have been required to show proof of being vaccinated or take mandatory weekly COVID-19 tests to come onto campus. And then, we have to submit our vaccine card by October 31st or there will be disciplinary actions according to the website. My body, my choice, them not giving me a choice feels like a violation of my rights.

THERAPIST: *interrupts Karen* That slogan is for women fighting for their right to an abortion..no one is taking away your right you can submit yourself to weekly testing meanwhile if you do not want to receive a vaccine

PATIENT: Shhhh, don’t start, I know what I’m like talking about. And guess what, in the spring of 2022, the District will like enforce a vaccine-only policy requiring COVID-19 vaccination for all staff and students who plan to work or attend classes on campus. The new Board policy will take effect on January 3, 2022 and will remain effective until it is terminated by the Board of Trustees.

THERAPIST: So what you’re telling me is that you only need the vaccine if you plan to be on campus..

PATIENT: That’s not the point Dr. We’ve already been over this already.

THERAPIST: Karen if you don’t want the vaccine it sounds like next semester you should register for online classes. Stressing yourself about a problem with a simple solution is unnecessary and detrimental to your health.

PATIENT: I know I can but that’s not the point, trying to force people to get the vaccine is like wrong. Vaccines are against like my religion, everyone receiving the vaccine is playing a dangerous game messing with god right now.

THERAPIST: you know I think the reason you might be feeling threatened or even being held hostage by this mandate could be coming from your Stockholm syndrome. Should we go into detail on that?

PATIENT: No, we’ve made progress on that. I used to be really scared to go to therapy but I like it here. I don’t know if I want to leave.

THERAPIST: Our sessions are only 45 minutes.

PATIENT: Why would you say that to me if you know how it makes me feel?

-DOC SCRIBBLING IN NOTEBOOK-

THERAPIST: I’m your therapist part of my job is that i am supposed to be honest with you and tell you the truth

PATIENT: Sometimes I like you when you don’t talk but anyways

THERAPIST: ANYWAYS..

PATIENT: WAIT! I forgot to tell you that recently mercury went into retrograde.It’s why I’ve been acting up a bit

THERAPIST: Acting up a bit? how? I think we should go into detail on that.. I don’t think it is healthy to blame the planets on any hardships you may be currently going through. Also did you have a spiritual awakening this week?

PATIENT: Doc I can’t be that honest with you, I’m not trying to get institutionalized again. Ive been in a silly goofy mood

-VIOLENTLY SCRIBBLES NOTES-

THERAPIST: Alright so now I think we should focus on your emotions this week. What would you do if someone told you you must be vaccinated to participate in an event ?PATIENT: your mom.

THERAPIST: *sigh* no, well i see we’ll work on vaccine acceptance next week. Tell me something you like doing in your free time.

PATIENT: I like when I’m sleeping.

THERAPIST:oh I meant when you’re awake.

PATIENT: Oh, I don’t like that. It’s cause I have a taurus placement. If i had to choose something i like during the day tho it would be like shopping or like watching reality TV

-DOCTOR CAN BE HEARD WRITING NOTES DOWN ON A NOTEBOOK-

THERAPIST: Alright so this week I think we will be adding an antidepressant. Now did you say mental illness runs in your family?

PATIENT: uhhhh No my parents are not athletic.

THERAPIST: Right, So how would you say you manage stress?

PATIENT: I just cry but that’s cause I’m part pisces and cancer. Doctor at this point I just can’t help it.

THERAPIST: Okay so its important that we recognize these things ok.. How would you say your anger levels are this week?

PATIENT: Doctor my rising sign which is what people IdEnTiFy me as and is an Aries. It’s literally not my fault okay. What do you think? OMG I forgot to tell you, I got asked out right. This guy had the audacity to ask me if I got vaccinated. I said like no and he cancelled on me.

THERAPIST: I’m sensing some hostility right now. I don’t know what aries rising means. But I’m sorry to hear about that. How did you manage these feelings of rejection?

PATIENT: I was sad and then mad and then I remembered he like wasn’t even attractive. So I like really don’t care anymore

THERAPIST: It’s okay to be in denial, sadness is a healthy emotion to express. You know if your uncomfortable taking prescription medication exercise is one of the best antidepressants available to you.

PATIENT: Doc you’re in denial. That sounds like a bit of a stretch. Antidepressant commercials advertise death as a potential side effect. The way I see it, it’s a win-win situation. And I don’t want to talk about denial because I don’t know her. You know doc, if I’m being honest with you right now I’m feeling like quite a failure.

THERAPIST: If you can afford to pay me you’re not a failure. But remember now emotions like this affect everyone Karen. You’re a beautiful bright girl with an amazing future planned ahead. And-

PATIENT: What if I shaved my head in between our next sessions or dyed it red.

THERAPIST: Has this been a recurring thought or have you experienced feelings of mania like this in the past?

PATIENT: What, I didn’t say anything.

THERAPIST: Alright well I think we are not making much progress here, based on the emotions we have covered today I’d like you to take this bit of information with you: anger will weaken your liver and gallbladder, sadness will weaken your immune system, stress will weaken your respiratory, cardiovascular, nervous, reproductive and gastrointestinal systems.

PATIENT: So what I’m hearing is if my antidepressants don’t kill me my body is going to end itself anyways… doc you know I have anxiety right? Why would you say that?`

THERAPIST: I diagnosed it as paranoia. Let me cross that out. Now I think that is all our time for today. Shall I schedule our next appointment for the same time next week?

PATIENT: Yes, but I’m probably going to cancel and ask you if we can do it maybe the next day so it would be great if you can keep a little window open for me.

THERAPIST: May I ask why?

PATIENT: I have commitment issues.

-DOC SCRIBBLING IN NOTEBOOK-

THERAPIST: okay right. So Something else to work on for next week. Be sure to speak with my secretary before you head out. They’re gonna provide you with some important information.

PATIENT: Alright, I’ll see you next week. **footsteps

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THIS PODCAST WAS CREATED FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. INFORMATION ABOUT THE VACCINE MANDATE AT CERRITOS COLLEGE IS CORRECT, FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT www.cerritos.edu/covid-19/

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS SUFFERING DUE TO A MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION IT IS IMPORTANT TO REACH OUT AND GET HELP. THERAPIST DO NOT ACT AS DEPICTED IN THE PODCAST. THERE ARE MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES AVAILABLE AT CERRITOS COLLEGE. THE LOS ANGELES COUNTY THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINES ARE AVAILABLE 24 HRS PHONE NUMBERS ARE 1-800-273-8255 OR 1-800-799-4889. FOR ASSISTANCE IN SPANISH THE NUMBER IS 1-888-628-9495.

THE LOS ANGELES COUNTY DEPARTMENT OF MENTAL HEALTH NUMBER IS 800-564-7771. THIS LINE IS AVAILABLE 24HRS AND IS BILINGUAL .

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-MUSIC OUTRO-