Transcript:
[Upbeat jazz music fades in]
Andrew: Hello! Welcome to the first episode of Under the Rock Podcast! I’m your host, Andrew Pilani, and look – I live under a rock, but not just any rock, I live under THE rock.
[Upbeat jazz music fades out]
Andrew: ‘What does that mean?’ You might ask. That means that I know nothing about anything pop culture. Today, I am joined by my esteemed guests and fellow journalists Derrick Telix and Diego Carrillo. These two are going to help me fix that. What’s up guys?
Derrick: Hi, I’m Derrick, I go to this college and I have no idea what I’m doing here, but thanks for having me.
Diego: Wassup, it’s Diego. I got something crazy for ya’ll today. We’re gonna help Andrew get over this rock. Thank you for having me.
Andrew: Thank you both for joining me today, I really appreciate it. So, what exactly are you guys gonna tell me about?
Diego: Well, Andrew, I regret to inform you, but today we’re actually gonna teach you about brainrot.
Andrew: Brainrot?
Derrick: The hawks and tuahs.
Andrew: The hawks and the tuahs?
Diego: Yeah! You haven’t seen that yet?
Andrew: I’ve heard whispers, but I don’t know, what…
Diego: Wait, Andrew, tell me this. Do you have TikTok?
Andrew: No.
Diego: Aw shit!
Andrew: [Chuckling] I don’t use TikTok! I keep myself away from that monstrous stuff.
Derrick: You should use it more, man – bunch of doom scrolling, it’s so fun.
Diego: To be blunt, it’s-it’s dumb memes. It is funny, but it’s, like, when you actually take that to the head, like this new generation, that’s when you get fucked up.
Andrew: What do you mean by like, ‘fucked up?’ You wanna explain or you just gonna, like, dance around the issue?
Diego: Well, basically, if you see kids nowadays and the way they talk, they talk so stupidly and that’s basically what it is.
Andrew: What kinds of stuff are they saying, though? I mean, you can say they talk so stupidly, but what exactly are they saying?
Diego: Have you ever heard of, uh, hawk tuah?
Andrew: You guys just mentioned that, but what exactly is ‘hawk tuah?’
Diego: it’s this girl, right? And she, like-
[Diego laughs]
Diego: “Hawk tuah” is a sound that a girl makes when she’s like, sucking your private parts-
Andrew: Wha- huh?
Diego: And the meme behind it is cause this girl made it really funny when she said it, like ‘HAWK TUAH, spit on that thang!’ You know what I’m talking about?
Andrew: No, I don’t know what you’re talking about – honestly, I don’t think I want to know what you’re talking about. Derrick, can you, like, fix this conversation, please?
Diego: Yeah, just trust me – you don’t want to know.
Derrick: I don’t even know what it is. Let’s move on.
[Andrew sighs]
Derrick: Have you ever heard of KSI, right?
Andrew: I am aware of KSI, to an extent – not much.
Derrick: He released a new song called “Thick of It.”
Andrew: Wha-Thi-“Thick of It?” Why?
Derrick: It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.
Diego: CAP! This man Derrick right here is bullshitting.
Derrick: I’m not lying-I’m not gonna lie – it sucks-
[Diego laughs]
Derrick: It’s so trash, bro. He has a PRIME bottle in his video – it’s so funny, like –
Andrew: But what exactly is PRIME, though?
Derrick: It’s a drink made for, like, little kids to, like uh, promote exercise, but most of the kids who drink it aren’t exercising – it’s just a dumb drink –
Andrew: So it’s kinda like an energy drink?
Derrick: Yeah, basically –
Diego: it’s an energy drink, but it’s very bad and, like, KSI and Logan Paul promote it very heavily and basically the song is the stupid promotion song. So it’s like-so it’s really bad.
Andrew: But, like, how exactly is it related to brainrot, though? It just seems like sounds like a meme song… question mark?
Diego and Derrick: It is brainrot!
Derrick: So basically, KSI made this song and it got memed like crazy –
Diego: Cuz it’s ass.
Derrick: Yeah… I’m gonna lie, it’s awesome, though. Like, it’s a pretty good song! You should listen to it –
Andrew: You’re gonna lie? It’s awesome? That makes no sense –
Derrick: What do you mean!?
Andrew: “I thought it was the best song ever!”
Derrick: It is! –
Andrew: Oh-ok alright… whatever you say –
Diego: This is something brainrot does to you, Andrew. This is stuff like it –
Andrew: It makes you, like, super contradictory and you don’t understand anything about what you’re own saying?
Diego and Derrick: Exactly!
Andrew: They’re talking- they’re talking together! This is like the brainrot turning them into, like, mindless zombies!
[Derrick laughs]
Diego: Whatchu mean? We got our own opinion…
Derrick: What do you mean!? I’m perfectly normal, man. I have- I got like two hours of sleep last night… Just going on Tik Tok –
Andrew: What were you doing? Like what were you doing, doomscrolling Tik Tok? –
Derrick: I was-I was… I was watching a bunch of KSI videos, uh, hawk tuah compilations –
Diego: I was watching the “Henry Danger” memes and that’s why, sadly, I did not make it to class on time –
Andrew: You didn’t make it to class on time!?
Diego: Well, did you see me in class?
Andrew: You monster…
[Diego laughs]
Andrew: But like, wait, “Henry Danger?”
Diego: Do you know what the “Henry Danger” meme is or do you know what “Henry Danger” is?
Andrew: I have no clue what the fuck a “Henry Danger” is.
[Andrew chuckles]
Diego: Ok so “Henry Danger” was kinda like a kids show when growing up – it was about this normal teenager basically. He goes to a job application and turns out he ends up working for a superhero and he’s a sidekick! –
Andrew: Uh huh…
Diego: But he has to hide life cause he’s in high school and –
Andrew: So how is that like brainrot then? It just seems like a normal thing?
Diego: It was a normal thing – it was actually a really good show, like, I watched it as a kid. Derrick did you watch it as a kid?
Derrick: No.
[Andrew laughs]
Diego: Aw shit…
Derrick: But it’s pretty funny!
Andrew: Ay – you flipping off Derrick?
Diego : Yeah he got me a little mad now.
[Diego laughs]
Diego: But anyway, so what happened is now that it got onto Netflix and basically like, public domain. Cause the actor, “Henry Danger,” he uh, did a lot of funny, like, poses and just funny like, just scenes basically –
Andrew : So how exactly does “Henry Danger” relate to, like, brainrot memes though?
Diego: So the way it went into brainrot was they took snapshots when he was making funny faces, cause he does a lot of expressions, like uggh uggh, like, you know what I mean?
Andrew: No.
Diego: Well you’re going to find out. And –
Andrew: I do not know what you mean. You are going to have to explain it in immense details. So that way I understand exactly every single –
Diego: Funny Faces! Funny Faces!
Andrew: NO! I refuse.
Diego: Andrew, we need to get you above the rock.
Derrick: We need to have you try Lunchly, man.
Diego: Wait! No we’re talking about “Henry Danger!”
[Andrew laughs]
Diego: Hold On!
Andrew: How is “Henry Danger” related to Lunchlies?
Diego: He’s not, he’s not! No Derrick. Sorry I love you, but shhhh.
[Diego chuckles]
Andrew: The brainrot is infecting Derrick further.
[Everyone starts talking over each other]
Andrew: He is thinking about Lunchlies… –
Diego: He’s too far deep… He’s too far deep –
Derrick: You need a feastable bro, Mr Beast! Feastables!
Diego: Ok the brainrot has took him already. “Henry Danger” has funny faces and they add text to it that’s like, that’s related to your life, right –
Andrew: Yea.
Diego: So it’s like, well I can’t give you an example – cause it has to be related to your life. So the more you scroll the more it will connect to you.
Andrew: How so, like, what kind of connections?
Diego: I don’t want put myself on blast, but like –
Andrew: Ummmmmm. Diego about to expose himself in 4k?
[Diego chuckles]
Diego: Ok, I won’t say nothing too much, but it’s like when someone is going crazy at the party and then it shows the “Henry Danger” memes – like, it’ll have the text there – and then it’ll show, like, the “Henry Danger.” So, you’re just scrolling, then you see it and you’re like, “Wait that’s how I react!” You know what I mean?
Derrick: But It’s exaggerated.
[People talking over each other]
Andrew: I guess, yeah that makes sense. Kind of like, just old memes in general –
Diego: Exactly!
Andrew: Like reactions faces.
Diego: Yup it got so big cause his reactions are funny. And, It’s something we watch as kids, so it’s like, “Oh what the hell, this is…” –
Andrew : Kind of like those wojacks or something?
Diego: What’s a wojack?
Andrew: Ok-ok this is going around the wrong way. You guys are supposed to be explaining stuff to me. I’m surprised you guys don’t know what wojacks are.
Diego: We’re not that old…
Andrew: That- wojacks aren’t even an old thing!
[Diego chuckles]
Derrick: I’m 42, I’m not that old man.
Andrew: Derrick you’ve got the energy of a 42-year-old, I’m sorry!
Derrick: What do you mean?
[Andrew laughs]
Andrew: What do you mean, “What do you mean!?”
Diego: I don’t want this to turn into a roasting session of Derrick.
[Andrew laughs]
Andrew: Alright, well, Derrick – defend yourself, give us a meme. A Brain Rot…
Derrick: …I had a Lunchly for lunch today.
[Andrew laughs]
Andrew : Ok are we going back to Lunchlies?
Diego: They’re nasty. What was the other one that was better?
Derrick: The one with moldy cheese?
Diego: Huh?
Derrick: The one with the moldy cheese pizza?
Diego: No. The Lunchables! Lunchables, Lunchables!!!
Derrick: I like Lunchlies better, man.
Diego: Man why are you looking at me like that. We are supposed to help Andrew.
Andrew: Yeah, Wha-what are you guys even doing, you guys are like, back and forth. Is this what brainrot does to people?
[Doomscrolling sounds start in background]
Diego: See that’s why we’re showing you how brain rot works in the flesh. Bang. Bang.
Andrew: Why are you-ok bang, bang points finger guns at me, alright. You guys are kind of kooky. I guess. Ok alright. This is enough. We need to get things back on track. What are —
[Doomscrolling gets louder]
Andrew: What? What the hell are those sounds?
Diego: Oh my bad, I was, oh –
[Phone dropping]
[Andrew chuckles]
Andrew: What the hell, what was that? You want to explain?
Diego: Yeah that’s the brainrot we talking about.
Andrew: You doing that, like, doom scrolling thing?
Diego: Yeah. It gets me addicted.
Andrew: Oh my God, you know I think I might need to perform a lobotomy on you two. With all the brainrot, I think I’m gonna have to go in. Derrick first! Derrick first cause he’s –
Derrick: Why what did I do!?
Andrew: Cause you’ve been zoned out man, you got your eyes glazed over. You’re just like, “Aw sleep, also drawing, also uhh hawk tuah or something.” I don’t know, but like –
Diego: Spit on that thang!
Andrew: Oh my God, please. So I think you’re getting the first lobotomy Derrick. Uh Diego –
Diego: I’m smiling. –
Andrew: I don’t know if I’m brave enough to give you a lobotomy, but I think it’s worth a shot. Cause clearly this brain rot is messing you guys up.
Diego: Hey, but we’re teaching you, no?
Andrew: Yeah, y-you’re teaching me alright, I don’t think I want to know anymore. Maybe I’ll go back under the rock. You know what guys I think I’m completely done with this whole dumb brain rot discussion. This is-this whole thing has just been crazy and stupid. I’m just so done – it makes no sense. This is Andrew Pilani from Talon Marks. Thank you for listening to the Under the Rock Podcast. Im outta here screw this.
[Chair rattling]
Diego: Man forget about him. It’s Diego here from Talon Marks once again.
Derrick: I’m Derrick from Talon Marks, too, uhh.
[Door Slams]
Diego: Hey, Derrick, what are you doing after this, man?
Derrick: Probably eating more Lunchlies and watching KSI, bro –
[Upbeat jazz music fades in]
Diego: KSI?
(Diego speaking fades out)
[Upbeat jazz music fades out]
